Friends with benefits and dating
We dated for a short stint two years ago, and after each going on to have a few more relationships and a lot more life experience, we reconnected. With both of us in the midst of massive career and potential location changes, commitment is not a card either of us is willing to play at the moment.
My former boyfriend/current lover—who has graciously allowed me to dissect the nature of our friendship in the name of journalism (thanks, mate! I expected experts to tell me that this type of interaction was probably unhealthy and definitely doomed, to hear a lot of “it will never work,”and “you’re fooling yourselves,” and “someone is going to fall in love.” But, according to them, there can actually be a lot of benefits to having a friend with benefits. W., a New York City-based therapist specializing in all things sex and dating, tells SELF. ”Ideally, your FWB is someone you’re comfortable with, but since you’re not planning for a white picket fence future, you don't feel the need to be impressive all the time.
Obviously, that won’t always be the case for both of us.
And when our circumstances change, it will be time for us to reevaluate together.“It’s like an emotional seesaw,” says Sloane.
Evidently the determining factor is simply whether the decision to start a relationship is well-discussed and mutually wanted.Don’t suddenly act closed off or start trying too hard just because you’re dating.